I grew up in a stable home, where my dad was always there. He worked hard to give us an amazing childhood, and he had an uncanny knack of fixing everything we needed fixing, including our sad eyes and, in later years, our broken hearts. One day, his little girl married a wonderful man of her own and flew 2000 miles away. He, as the dad of a military spouse, has continued to try and fix things for us and his grandchildren, ever since, no matter how near or far.
He is AN AMAZING DAD.
To mark Fathers Day, I thought I would dedicate this blog to all the fathers of the armed forces.
• the male military spouses,
• the fathers who missed their child’s birth or first birthday.
• the ones who waved their partners goodbye while holding a toddlers hand, wondering how they’ll cope.
• the ones who’ve had to shatter their families’ hearts by announcing an iminent move that no one wants to do.
This is the reality that military dads have to face, EVERY day.
And I have no idea how they do it.
We, the people left behind, often moan about loneliness, we complain about our cancelled plans and the fact that Christmas will be messed up because of yet another move. It is tough.
But how does it all actually affect the boys? The dads, the male dependants, and the military men for whom WE their families give up so much.
I’ve seen military wives try to be there for a male counterpart when his partner was detached, offering their help and support. But he was too proud to take it, choosing to ride the storm as a lone wolf, strong on the outside but tired and crumbling inside.
AN AMAZING DAD.
I’ve seen countless Dad’s hold it together on the last school run before they leave, trying to fight back the tears.
“Be good for Mummy. Only 182 sleeps to go.”
I have seen others holding back the tears when climbing off coaches or walking through arrival gates; seeing their children for the first time in 6 months, in total shock at how much they’ve grown.
Having no physical input in the life of their child for prolonged periods of time must feel like losing complete control of the thing you love the most. No ball games in the park, no movie nights. No cuddles at bedtime, no singing in the car. No father-son one to ones about girls. The tooth fairy wings hung up for 6 months while they watch from afar as Mum makes a hash of it. (I mean, who forgets to leave a coin under the pillow 4 nights in a row…? Ok.. I’m guilty)!
And the worst of it is… when he gets back, he knows he’s going to have to repeat it all again very, very soon.
He’s AN AMAZING DAD.
I feel for the man preparing to leave his wife after life changing emergency surgery. Returning to his detachment and leaving his teenage children to care for her alone; carrying on in an alternate world overseas, unable to help.
AN AMAZINGLY BRAVE DAD.
And last, but by no means least:
The military dad, who for 14 months, carried on working his night shifts, while simultaneously caring for a terminally ill baby and a wife running on fumes.
Two weeks after his second baby was born, he kissed her goodbye and flew to the front-line in Afghanistan. He returned home 7 months later, to a new and alien family routine and the challenge of convincing this beautiful little girl he was hers. (It didn’t take long).
This same amazing man also delivered his son, his 3rd child, at the side of a road, thanks to a crazy screaming wife who was unable to hold on til they got to the hospital. (Don’t try this at home, folks… I mean, home would probably have been a better choice really… not a muddy grass verge in the depest darkest English countryside – seriously, nothing is ever normal in this family!). His face as he brought our little Sausage into the world, all on his own, will stay with me forever. He never faltered he never panicked he just did it.
The bond these three have is incredible. Just a Daddy and his two children having fun on an extraordinary journey, sometimes together sometimes apart, but always together in mind and spirit.
I am so immensely proud to call them all mine.
Every day I live to support this man. This amazing person who makes our lives complete in so many ways and leaves a huge gap whenever he has to leave.
So this blog is for him, and ALL the military Dads world wide. The remote grandads, the Daddy’s who stay at home, the ones we live this life to be with.
We are here because of you.
Thank you for filling our world with purpose and love.
You are all amazing
Happy Fathers Day
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